Hey! It’s MY turn to sit on the front pew!
I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went over time 25 minutes.
Personally, I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
I’ve decided to give our church the $500.00 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the […]
Archive for the 'Jokes' Category
Ten Things You Will Never Hear at Church
Published by September 14th, 2007 in fun, Humour and Jokes. 1 CommentThe rules of Cricket simplified
Published by September 7th, 2007 in fun, Humour and Jokes. 0 CommentsThe hockey season is just over the horizon here is Canada. It’s only fitting, in this land of ice and snow, that hockey is our national game.
There is not a lot of Cricket played in Canada, but you will find a small group of enthusiasts in almost every Canadian city. Many of use fell the sport […]
~ The Old Rugged Face
~ Precious Lord, Take My Hand, And Help Me Up
~ It is Well With My Soul, But My Knees Hurt
~ Nobody Knows the Trouble I Have Seeing
~ Amazing Grace, Considering My Age
~ Just a Slower Walk With Thee
~ Count Your Many Birthdays, Name Them One by One
~ Go Tell It […]
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by physicists at Yale’s Research Centre. The element, tentatively named administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons 75 vice- neutrons and 11 assistant vice-neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass […]
10 ways to know you’re in a bad church
Published by August 3rd, 2007 in Uncategorized, fun, Humour and Jokes. 1 Comment1. The church bus has gun racks.
2. The church staff consists of Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor, and Socio-pastor.
3. The Bible they use is the “Dr. Seuss Version.”
4. There’s an ATM in the lobby.
5. Choir wears leather robes.
6. Worship services are B.Y.O.S. — “Bring Your Own Snake.”
7. No cover charge, but communion is a two-drink minimum.
8. […]
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph. — Shirley Temple
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labour Day Weekend. — Doug Lars
A bank is a place that will […]
Murphy’s First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.
Kauffman’s Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.
The […]
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when […]
Top ten things Paul would have done if he had owned a computer
Published by June 22nd, 2007 in Bible, fun, Humour and Jokes. 0 CommentsDownload MP3’s of the Righteous Brothers for entertainment while on those long, tedious, missionary journeys
Visit WebMD.com about that persistent thorn in flesh
Spiritual armor would include virus protection software
“To live is Christ, to die is to have a 28K modem”
Book boat tickets using Priceline.com
E-mail pictures of Peter eating pork to the gang back in Jerusalem
Church officers: […]
Top 20 signs that you’re a Canadian
Published by June 15th, 2007 in fun, Humour and Jokes. 0 CommentsYou understand the phrase “Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine on the chesterfield.”
You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.
You drink Pop, not Soda.
You know that a Mickey and 2-4’s mean, “party at the camp, eh!”
You don’t care about the fuss with Cuba. It’s a cheap place to go for your […]
