~ The Old Rugged Face
~ Precious Lord, Take My Hand, And Help Me Up
~ It is Well With My Soul, But My Knees Hurt
~ Nobody Knows the Trouble I Have Seeing
~ Amazing Grace, Considering My Age
~ Just a Slower Walk With Thee
~ Count Your Many Birthdays, Name Them One by One
~ Go Tell It […]
Archive for the 'Jokes' Category
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by physicists at Yale’s Research Centre. The element, tentatively named administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons 75 vice- neutrons and 11 assistant vice-neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass […]
10 ways to know you’re in a bad church
Published by August 3rd, 2007 in Uncategorized, fun, Humour and Jokes. 1 Comment1. The church bus has gun racks.
2. The church staff consists of Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor, and Socio-pastor.
3. The Bible they use is the “Dr. Seuss Version.”
4. There’s an ATM in the lobby.
5. Choir wears leather robes.
6. Worship services are B.Y.O.S. — “Bring Your Own Snake.”
7. No cover charge, but communion is a two-drink minimum.
8. […]
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph. — Shirley Temple
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labour Day Weekend. — Doug Lars
A bank is a place that will […]
Top ten things Paul would have done if he had owned a computer
Published by June 22nd, 2007 in Bible, fun, Humour and Jokes. 0 CommentsDownload MP3’s of the Righteous Brothers for entertainment while on those long, tedious, missionary journeys
Visit WebMD.com about that persistent thorn in flesh
Spiritual armor would include virus protection software
“To live is Christ, to die is to have a 28K modem”
Book boat tickets using Priceline.com
E-mail pictures of Peter eating pork to the gang back in Jerusalem
Church officers: […]
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.
Sell Girl Scout cookies.
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?”
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator
Lean over to another passenger […]
Ten Things You Probably Won’t Hear From Your Mother
Published by May 11th, 2007 in fun, Humour, Jokes and holidays. 0 Comments(for Mother’s Day)
“How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?”
“Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too”
“Just leave all the lights on . . . it makes the house look more cheery”
“Let me smell that shirt. Yeah, it’s good for another week”
“Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll […]
Top 10 Reasons to Live in Saskatchewan
Published by May 4th, 2007 in fun, Humour and Jokes. 0 Comments
You never run out of wheat
Those cool Saskatchewan Wheat Pool hats
Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning
Your province is really easy to draw
You never have to worry about roll-back if you drive a standard
It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbour’s house
YOUR Roughriders survived
You can watch the dog run away from home […]
by William Shakespeare
O proud left foot, that ventures quick withinThen soon upon a backward journey lithe.Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke.A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.To spin! A wilde release from heaven’s yoke.Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.The Hoke, the poke — banish now […]
New Rule: Stop giving me pop-up ads for classmates.com. There’s a reason you don’t talk to people for 25 years. Because you don’t particularly like them. Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days. He’s mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don’t eat anything that’s served to you out a […]
