Benign…………….The birthday after you be eight.
Artery…………….The study of paintings.
Bacteria…………..Back door to cafeteria.
Barium…………….What to do when someone dies.
Cesarean Section……A neighborhood in Rome.
Cat scan……………Searching for kitty.
Cauterize………….Made eye contact with her.
Colic……………..A sheep dog.
Coma………………A punctuation mark.
D & C……………..Where Washington is.
Dilate…………….To live long.
Enema……………..Not a friend.
Fester…………….Quicker than someone else.
Fibula…………….A small lie.
Genital……………Non-Jewish person.
G.I. Series………..Military baseball tournament.
Hangnail…………..What you hang your coat on.
Impotent…………..Distinguished, well […]
Archive for the 'Humour' Category
1. If you have to throw up, get into a chair quickly. If you cannot manage this in time, get to an Oriental rug. Shag is good.
2. Determine quickly which guest hates cats. Sit on that lap during the evening. He won’t dare push you off and will even call you “nice kitty.” If […]
~ The Old Rugged Face
~ Precious Lord, Take My Hand, And Help Me Up
~ It is Well With My Soul, But My Knees Hurt
~ Nobody Knows the Trouble I Have Seeing
~ Amazing Grace, Considering My Age
~ Just a Slower Walk With Thee
~ Count Your Many Birthdays, Name Them One by One
~ Go Tell It […]
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by physicists at Yale’s Research Centre. The element, tentatively named administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons 75 vice- neutrons and 11 assistant vice-neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass […]
10 ways to know you’re in a bad church
Published by August 3rd, 2007 in Uncategorized, fun, Humour and Jokes. 1 Comment1. The church bus has gun racks.
2. The church staff consists of Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor, and Socio-pastor.
3. The Bible they use is the “Dr. Seuss Version.”
4. There’s an ATM in the lobby.
5. Choir wears leather robes.
6. Worship services are B.Y.O.S. — “Bring Your Own Snake.”
7. No cover charge, but communion is a two-drink minimum.
8. […]
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph. — Shirley Temple
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labour Day Weekend. — Doug Lars
A bank is a place that will […]
1. You ticked him off once, and your next phone bill was for $20,000.
2. He’s won the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes 3 years in a row.
3. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.
4. Seems strangely calm whenever the office network goes down.
5. Somehow gets HBO on his PC at work.
6. […]
Top ten things Paul would have done if he had owned a computer
Published by June 22nd, 2007 in Bible, fun, Humour and Jokes. 0 CommentsDownload MP3’s of the Righteous Brothers for entertainment while on those long, tedious, missionary journeys
Visit WebMD.com about that persistent thorn in flesh
Spiritual armor would include virus protection software
“To live is Christ, to die is to have a 28K modem”
Book boat tickets using Priceline.com
E-mail pictures of Peter eating pork to the gang back in Jerusalem
Church officers: […]
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.
Sell Girl Scout cookies.
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?”
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator
Lean over to another passenger […]
Ten Things You Probably Won’t Hear From Your Mother
Published by May 11th, 2007 in fun, Humour, Jokes and holidays. 0 Comments(for Mother’s Day)
“How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?”
“Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too”
“Just leave all the lights on . . . it makes the house look more cheery”
“Let me smell that shirt. Yeah, it’s good for another week”
“Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll […]
