Just in time for Super Bowl Sunday, here is some baseball humour: The first baseball game on record.
The people gathered (Numbers 11:32) to see the battle (1 Samuel 14:28) and sat down to eat and drink (Exodus 32:6) old corn…and (Joshua 15:12) sweet water. (James 3:11)
Eli sat upon a seat by a post (1 Samuel 1:9) and he stretched himself (1 Kings 17:21) that he may see good. (Psalms 34:12) So the people shouted (Joshua 6:20) “Where are the nine? (Luke 17:17) Let the young men now arise and play before us.” (2 Samuel 2:14)
The first came out (Genesis 25:25) and went into the field (Numbers 22:23) and stood every man in his place. (Judges 7:21) And Peter called, (Mark 14:72) whether it be good or bad. (Leviticus 27:12) As one mocketh, another do (Job 13:9) with loud voices (Luke 2323) “Thou art blind!” (Revelation 3:17) And he stooped to (1 Samuel 28:4) make clean…the platter. (Luke 11:39) And the trumpeters sounded (2 Chronicles 29:28) “Kohath shall pitch.” (Numbers 3:29) And Samson went and caught. (Judges 15:4)
David was up (2 Samuel 24:11) on the left side (Ezekiel 1:10) and he struck it into the pan (1 Samuel 2:14) foul. (Matthew 16:3) The second was offered; (Judges 6:28) he striketh—(Job 34:26) he missed! (1 Samuel 20:18) On the third (Genesis 22:4) he struck him out! (2 Samuel 20:10) So Levite went in; (Judges 17:10) he stood and measured the earth; he beheld, and drove (Habakkuk 3:6) for an homer. (Hosea 3:2) And all the people shouted with a great shout. (Ezra 3:11) And Noah went in, (Genesis 7:7) and did fly (2 Samuel 22:11) into the field. (Numbers 22:23) And Jotham ran away (Judges 9:21) and looking back (Luke 9:62) gathered it. (Isaiah 62:9) And Aaron went in, (Exodus 5:1) and he worketh it (Isaiah 44:12) two and two. (Genesis 7:9) And Samson said (Judges 15:3) “Strike it!” (Exodus 12:7) And Aaron spake (Exodus 4:30) “A good man would (Romans 5:7) be not one of them that strike.” (Proverbs 22:26) And the man refused to smite. (1 Kings 20:35) And Aaron took, (Numbers 16:47) and he walked. (1 Kings 15:3) Amon sacrificed (2 Chronicles 33:22) and Aaron ran (Numbers 16:47) into the second, (Hebrews 9:7) and overran! (2 Samuel 18:23) And with the bag (Micah 6:11) afar off—(Genesis 22:4) a good man out. (Matthew 12:35)
And it came to pass on second (Luke 6:1) Job caught (Job 38:5) the line (1 Kings 2:28) and threw (2 Samuel 16:13) at the first; (Genesis 13:4) Therefore David ran and stood upon (1 Samuel 17:51) the first, (Genesis 13:4) put forth his hand, and caught (Exodus 4:4) the toss. (Jeremiah 5:22) This is the second death. (Revelation 20:14) Then Joseph could not refrain himself, and he cried (Genesis 45:1) “Goodness, if thou continue in (Romans 11:22) going down, (Genesis 15:12) our hope is lost (Ezekiel 37:11) and my garments (Isaiah 63:3) and job.” (Job 32:3)
And Abram went up (Genesis 13:1) and Abram drove (Genesis 15:11) into the air (Acts 22:23). And Judah came in (Genesis 38:8) under it, (Daniel 4:14) and through idleness of the hands (Ecclesiastes 10:18) the fly (Isa. 7:18) droppeth through (Eccl. 10:18) giving him a double. (Leviticus 21:17) Abraham took wood and (Genesis 22:6) caught hold of (2 Samuel 18:9) an hard (Matthew 25:24) and high (Revelation 21:12) delivery (Isaiah 26:17) and smote it (Judges 7:13) into left. (Leviticus 14:15) Thus and thus (Judges 18:4) Israel fought against (Joshua 10:29) the Philistines (1 Samuel 19:8) till the ninth. (Leviticus 25:22) For each, one (Numbers 7:3) in the first, (Jeremiah 25:1) and seven times (Leviticus 25:8) after that they (Ecclesiastes 9:3) gathereth eggs. (Isaiah 10:14)
In the ninth, (1 Kings 25:1) Israel went out (1 Kings 20:21) in a row, (1 Kings 7:3) and none came in. (1 Samuel 18:13) He sent divers sorts of flies among them (Psalms 78:45) And they caught them every one. (2 Samuel 2:6) The first man (1 Corinthians 15:45) for the Philistines (1 Samuel 28:15) drew the third, (Revelation 12:4) and the fourth (Deuteronomy 28:20) came to the outside; (Judges 7:19) he walketh. (Job 22:14) The pitcher (Ecclesiastes 12:6) climbed up upon (1 Samuel 14:13) the mount (Deuteronomy 1:7) and pitched. (Exodus 19:2) And Moses put it on a pole (Numbers 21:9) for an homer, (Hosea 3:2) and Israel was beaten. (2 Samuel 2:17)
And behold, the man clothed with linen, which had the inkhorn by his side, reported the matter (Ezekiel 9:11) and wrote it in a book. (1 Samuel 10:25)
[from Mikey’s Funnies]
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